Well, I'm back, with my first posting in 112 days!! YOWSA! It's been a personally turbulent and yet very revealing time for me, and so, as much as I'm itching to discuss the horrendous economy of that obese welfare state, Germany, parental rights and many other political issues, this posting shall be about my own personal experiences in the last several months.
I was on a cruise when I noticed the captain executing a particularly sharp maneuver to avoid what seemed like an innocuos little piece of ice. My protestations on its size relative to the big ship we were on, were brushed aside by the captain, who informed me that what lay ahead was a huge iceberg, much larger than the visible nose above water. Unconvinced and sure my life was in the hands of an apparently drunk or incompetent captain, I flung myself overboard into the freezing waters.
Fiction? Well, not quite. In the face of adversity over the last few months, that is precisely how I behaved. Rather than trusting the Captain who charters the course for all our lives, I blinked in tough times and embraced depression, booze and cigarettes. Sled down a downward spiral. Promised never to go to a temple till He "fixed things". Allowed my mind to convince me that things sucked, people were bad, and life gloomy.
Until one day I realized such a life was not worth living. But no, I didn't contemplate suicide. Instead I fought, fought with my mind, refusing to accept its grim prognosis. Fought to hold on to the values I cherished.
In time, I came to learn of things I didn't know of, that made me exclaim, "Lord, you're a genuis!". That He may be. But what about me? I have experienced enough in life to always trust him, and yet I keep getting enticed by Maya, like a distracted saint dropping his rosary upon the call of a luscious woman. This is the only tragedy in our lives - from it springs all else. If only we could always focus on what's real ....
So I'm back from the abyss, vowing again to learn from my mistakes, promising to be stronger and more trusting. Promising to expect less from people, and leave it to Him to guide my life where it needs to be. Can I do it? Ah, that is the big question!
Footnote:The Hindu and Buddhist faiths believe that this material world is an illusion of our mind, refered to as Maya, that prevents us from realization that we are Perfect and Complete, indeed the verisame God that we worship. Our path to "eternal life" then is to quiet the mind and see our unity with the Supreme, to move past entrapment in this artificial world ... to wake up as the One, just as Keanu Reeves had to in the Matrix!